Im very excited to meet my baby and very ready but Im getting bummed out that I dont see a lot of activity or as much as I wish...I had a few cramps yesterday after our walk and at 1am during my restless night when I was rocking in the chair in baby's room.....Now that's the main reason why Im SO bummed, during this pregnancy I've never felt that I want the baby to come out for selfish reasons such as being uncomforbable, or so big, or so tired or the backaches, nothing like that, I will enjoy every minute my baby is inside me, and every minute of feeling his beautiful little movements, but I've come to a point where I am getting desperate and so damn frustrated because of this freakin rash! It's making me so freakin miserable, first of all because I feel bad for my little baby having to feel me almost scratching my freakin skin off, and me feeling so darn tense at night with the skin burning itch, and the restlessness, poor little thing has stayed up with me a couple nights....I havent slept more than 3 or 4 hours since last Wendesday, and now as if that wasnt enough this rash took over days now too, I couldnt even watch the laker game in peace yesterday...I feel bad for my body going through so many changes and now my skin feeling like a freakin reptile...Yesterday I reached a breaking point because I dont want our baby to think I want him out because of my own agenda, I want him out because me and poppa really want him here, but I also need some relief from this darn curse of a rash for my own sanity....I even thought for a sec that I might need to see the doc, and then I laughed, what the heck is that good-for-nothing going to tell me..it's just unfortunate? Wait a few days after delivery and it will subside? Yeah, I can figure that out on my own, from my 2 minute research done on the web thank you very much, but I guess that's why she gets the big bucks right...
Well, in a way I liked last night when I was rockin for a while in baby's room because I could just picture myself being in there with baby during his little restless nights, and I loved it! I will do it with a smile, because I will be there with him, and soothing HIM....so I guess in a way these couple hours of sporadic sleep are practice huh...look at the bright side =/
Well I just needed to vent for a hot second, and update everyone wondering if this little guy is out, he's not...but I have a real good feeling about this week... =) Hopefully! Fingers and toes crossed! We will see that useless doc tomorrow morning before she goes on her vacation, and the least she can do is tell me that Im dilating!!! That will just make my day! Keep ya posted ; )
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